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A bridal shower is a great and exciting way to celebrate your upcoming wedding, and it allows you to spend time with your friends and family members ahead of your big day. Traditionally, its purpose is to allow guests to bring gifts to help the bride set up her new home, but what if you want money instead of gifts? How do you ask for it?
To ask for money at a bridal shower instead of gifts, talk to your guests politely about giving cash gifts instead and provide them with valid reasons why you need the money. You can also create a cash registry to receive cash gifts. A money tree placed beside the gift table may be a good idea.
Asking for money at a bridal shower can be a sticky situation, so we’ll comprehensively guide you through how to do it without getting it wrong.
Ask Politely
When asking for monetary gifts, you should avoid coming across as rude. Fortunately, cash gifts and gift cards are also popular to an extent as they have become socially accepted in most events. So, the best thing to do when requesting money at a bridal shower is to ask politely.
Avoid putting your request for money on the bridal shower invitation or any physical correspondence. This method may sound creative, but it can make the guests feel like you only invited them to get money from them. It is very tacky and definitely not the best way to go about it.
In fact, putting it out on the invitation is the exact definition of rude. If you want to follow proper etiquette, never mention any such thing on the invitation. The whole point of a bridal shower is for guests to give you gifts. You don’t necessarily decide what they bring you, so the key is to remain reasonable and rational.
Give Reasons Why You Need the Money
If you’re asking for money instead of gifts, your guests would want to know where their money is going. So, it’s a good idea to let them know how you’ll be using the money. Informing them passionately about your plans also helps them feel more connected to you, and they’ll be more willing to offer cash instead.
Some of the reasons may be that you need the money to purchase a new home, renovate your existing home, or move across the country after your wedding. We suggest putting a little story together to convince them further. You could tell them how the project started, how far you’ve gone, and even the challenges you’ve faced along the way.
However, avoid overdoing it so it doesn’t come across as tacky or desperate. You could tell your guests something like: “I highly appreciate your love and presence at my bridal shower, and I couldn’t have wished for more. However, if a gift is your desire, I would be grateful for cash gifts to help us save for XXX.”
Use Cash Registries
Rather than placing the request for money on the bridal shower invitation, use a less-tacky option such as a cash registry. This method has gained traction and has been in use by new couples for the past ten years.
There are several cash registry services available today, each with different funding experiences and options. The popular ones include HoneyFund, Traveler’s Joy, and Zola, with some of them having additional registry features.
Your guests don’t need to be tech-savvy to give you money on a cash registry website. All you need to do is select a cash registry service and create a profile on it. Once that is out of the way, you’ll need to choose the goals you want your guests to fund. These goals can include paying for a new house or planning toward the actual wedding.
Your guests can choose which goal they want to give you money for. Older people may be put off at first, especially those who are not tech-savvy. So, it’s best to create a traditional registry alongside a cash registry. We’ll cover this in the next tip.
Create a Traditional Registry
While you may prefer the money, a cash registry should not be your only option of accepting donations. Doing this would make it seem mandatory for your guests to give cash gifts.
To ensure a balance between those who prefer traditional registries and those interested in cash registries, we suggest creating both options for them. Some guests may want to give you a physical gift instead, making the process easier for everyone.
Some cash registry websites may also allow you to simultaneously create a traditional gift registry, which helps cater to your guests’ gift-giving preferences. Ensure you specify what you need when creating your registry.
Spread the Word Through Close Family Members
Be sure to inform your parents and close relatives about your gift preferences. They can help you spread the word and make your job easier.
Letting your family members know greatly helps, especially if you’ve set up a cash registry. Chances are, your other guests will ask them about your preferences, likes, needs, passions, and interests, so informing them will help prepare them on the best response to give. They can then direct your guests to the cash registry you have created.
Because asking for money at a bridal shower can be tricky, guide your close family members on how to spread the word tactfully. Let them know the reasons why you’d prefer cash instead of physical gifts. Tell them that you understand that the situation may be difficult, but you’ve thought about it very well.
Use a Money Tree
Money trees are a common trend at weddings, but it is also a great way to ask for cash at your bridal shower without appearing tacky. Contrary to what some people think, you’re not outrightly asking for money, and your guests may love this idea.
You can purchase a money tree or make one yourself. It can be made of wood or wire and consists of several branches. It can also include ribbons or pins on which your guests can secure the money.
Again, the key is not to let it seem you’re only after the cash, so it’s best to place the money tree beside the gift table. This placement suggests to your guests that they can either give physical gifts or attach some money to the tree. The area should be easily accessible for your guests.
Don’t Be Greedy
When requesting money at a bridal shower, avoid asking for a specific amount. Let your guests know that you appreciate their gifts, no matter how significant or small the monetary value is.
Your guests are happily giving you their money, and this is certainly not the time to be greedy, even if you have a target amount you’re trying to reach.
Also, keep in mind that not all guests will be open to the idea of giving money. Some will still bring physical gifts, so you need to appreciate that equally.
Final Thoughts
Money can be an uncomfortable topic, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for it at your bridal shower. However, you have to be subtle and use the right approach not to appear desperate or rude.
Telling your guests your plans and why you need the money may also help create a connection with them and make them more willing to give. You can also create a cash registry alongside the traditional registry and tell your close relatives to help you spread the word. Avoid being greedy and appreciate those who prefer to give physical gifts.